In recent years, as bride price amounts have risen, some couples have come into conflict over "high bride prices" and ultimately parted ways. A recent survey of 1,001 respondents conducted by the Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily in collaboration with wenjuan.com shows that 65.3% of respondents said people around them have experienced conflicts arising from bride price, of whom 19.1% said such situations are very common.

　　65.3% of respondents know people around them who have had conflicts over bride price

　　"My boyfriend and I can basically make our own decisions on marriage matters, and our parents respect our wishes. When we reached the stage of discussing marriage, I hoped both sides could communicate calmly and understand and respect each other." Wu You, a self-media worker in Beijing, feels that once the two parties start haggling over bride price, it triggers a series of conflicts, and even if the talks don't break down, it affects how the two families get along.

　　Cai Lei, associate professor at the School of Sociology of Wuhan University, said that with greater equality between the sexes, the function of bride price as compensation to the bride's family has largely shifted to providing support for the newlyweds, but placing too much emphasis on the amount of bride price has plunged some families into hardship over it and even affected normal marriage arrangements.

　　"If one side insists on a specific amount of bride price while the other thinks bride price isn't that important, it shows their views don't align. If both value the relationship, they should have an in-depth conversation, understand each other's true thoughts, and make mutual concessions." Wang Gang, a married post-95s employee at a company in Nanjing, said that if two people about to enter marriage come into conflict over bride price, they should first negotiate.

　　"Some men borrow money to raise the bride price and then have to work hard to repay it after marriage," Wang Gang said. If the goal is for the two families to live well together, they should consider the future more.

　　In the survey, 65.3% of respondents said people around them have experienced conflicts over bride price, of whom 19.1% said there are many such cases. 28.2% of respondents felt that people around them can basically reach agreement on bride price and rarely have conflicts, while 6.5% were unsure.

　　Wang Gang said most people around him don't place much importance on bride price. When it comes to marriage, what everyone discusses most is where to hold the wedding, where to go for the honeymoon, where to take wedding photos, and who will mainly prepare the wedding. "There are also cases where parents help their children make judgments—after all, children don't have that much life experience—but mostly they just offer some reference opinions; the decisions are ours to make."

　　Wang Gang feels that a relationship between two people should not be affected by the amount of bride price. Whether man or woman, neither should care too much about others' opinions; they should consider their own family circumstances and both parties' wishes.

　　Regarding views on bride price, 54.6% of respondents are mainly influenced by family and relatives

　　Wang Gang said that in some places, a higher bride price is seen as showing that women are more valued or have higher status. "I think this is an incorrect view. A woman's status in an emotional relationship and the degree to which the man values her cannot be reflected solely through bride price. Everyone's economic situation differs; women should consider the man comprehensively rather than looking only at bride price, and should not compare bride prices with one another."

　　Regarding views on bride price, respondents are mainly influenced by family and relatives (54.6%) and friends, classmates, and colleagues (47.0%), followed by neighbors and fellow townspeople (41.4%), among others. 24.8% of respondents said no one has influenced them.

　　Wang Gang believes that an excessively high bride price is a bad custom that should be abandoned. Bride price should fall within a reasonable range and serve as start-up funds for the new small family, supporting life after marriage. If the amount is too high, it becomes a burden on the whole family.

　　Wu You said that in many cases women are not unable to accept a low bride price, but rather cannot accept the man's attitude when discussing it—they should not be treated poorly just because the woman doesn't care much about bride price. "If both sides can always discuss things amicably and let the woman see the man's sincerity and respect, the amount of bride price doesn't matter."

　　Wang Gang feels that young people should place more importance on whether the two people's attitudes toward life and values are consistent. For example, in terms of consumption views, some value brands, some care about cost-effectiveness, some enjoy eating, drinking, and having fun, and some value spiritual enjoyment. If their views differ, can they tolerate each other?

　　"Whether two people's personalities are compatible is also very important. In getting along, can they truly consider each other, or is it always one person giving in and compromising while the other keeps demanding this and that?" Wang Gang believes these considerations are more important than bride price.

　　Among the respondents, 38.3% were male and 61.7% female. 22.3% were born in the 2000s, 22.7% in the post-95s generation, 33.4% in the post-90s generation, 12.6% in the post-85s generation, and 9.0% in the post-80s generation. 30.2% were from first-tier cities, 39.0% from second-tier cities, 22.0% from third- and fourth-tier cities, 4.6% from county towns, and 4.2% from rural areas.